• Courtnie Belot

Dating Your Spouse Tips

You did the dating. Then you did the wedding. Now you're doing the marriage.

But who the hell said that you had to stop dating?

Dustin and I have been together since 2013 and have not stopped dating. I think it has made a very solid foundation for our relationship. For men, it allows them to feel more masculine in the relationship. Especially if they have a nagging wife. Oh c'mon. . . .you've never felt like a nag before? For women, it allows them to feel like this Sexy Queen instead of the chore driving, lounge pants wearing, Cinderella.

Implementing dating creates an opportunity to get to know your partner in every season of their life. You will never be the same person your were yesterday, so might as well get to know yourself and your husband for who they are here and now. It allows discussion for what is going on in your relationship and maybe some things you want to work on or maybe even try out together. You'll find that the playful side will come out of you naturally. As adults, we forget that we need play!! Just because we are older does not mean that we don't have a need to feel uninhabited and want to laugh until we pee our pants still. Dates promote anticipation and excitement. You know that there is always something you bring to the table no matter what is going on in the world. Most importantly, it helps you remember why you love this person and how much they love you.

Here are some tips on how to set up your dating schedule:

1. Create a day that is going to be your "date day". It can be weekly, monthly, bi-weekly. . . .whatever works for you two and your family.

2. Discuss boundaries and the do's and don'ts of your dates. For example: no phones, no talking about work, no negative talk. . . .etc.

3. If you don't have ideas, rely on a date jar. Utilize it for whenever something pops into your mind, put it in the jar and you can choose from it about 3 days before your date so you can plan.

4. Look your best but also make sure it is fitting for the date activity.

5. I don't have kids but I would assume it would be good to have a designated babysitter for this time.

6. Bring some talking points in case you guys get stuck with conversation topics. This is totally normal! You guys aren't broken if you don't know what to talk about.

7. Be present! I know it sounds cliche but you have to be there to experience it. Try not to have phones unless you have created boundaries around having them.

8. Thank each other and talk about what you thought of the date. Is this particular date setting something we should try again or not so much?

I hope this helps you guys get back to your fun you might be missing right now and that you guys get creative with these. There are so many open spaces we can enjoy during this pandemic. You dont always have to just go to dinner. This can be really adventurous. Happy dating!!!